Is it hot in here?
I am always very thoughtful before I make a purchase. I'm not an "impulse shopper" by any means. That being said, here's the conversation I had with the store manager. And no, I am not very proud of what transpired.
L Tray: So you're telling me that I can get this obviously fantastic piece of pornography for only $7.99?
Manager, staring at me, horribly confused: If that's what the sticker says, then yes, you absoultely can.
L Tray: That is fantastic! I mean, I'm a huge fan of phone sex, and that can sometimes cost me a couple of dollars a minute, which really adds up. I mean, my stamina is through the roof. Know what I'm saying? I hold my hand up here, asking for a high five.
Manager, still staring at me, now absolutely horrified: No sir, I surely don't.
L Tray: Well, no matter. I can't believe that I'll be getting this for roughly 15 cents a minute! I cannot WAIT to get home and go to town on myself! What about you? Are you familiar with the work of these "New Pornographers?"
Manager: Yes, I am. I think you'll be very surprised.
L Tray: Oh, I don't know about that. I've been around the block, my friend. This is gonna do it for me. Wrap it up, my good sir!
I feel so stupid. Turns out The New Pornographers aren't actually a group of people that have an innovative take on audio pornography, but they're a group of people that play rock music together. And the cd? Yeah, it's good, I guess. "Mass Romantic" is one catchy song, that's for sure. But that isn't what I thought I was buying.
L Tray: So you're telling me that I can get this obviously fantastic piece of pornography for only $7.99?
Manager, staring at me, horribly confused: If that's what the sticker says, then yes, you absoultely can.
L Tray: That is fantastic! I mean, I'm a huge fan of phone sex, and that can sometimes cost me a couple of dollars a minute, which really adds up. I mean, my stamina is through the roof. Know what I'm saying? I hold my hand up here, asking for a high five.
Manager, still staring at me, now absolutely horrified: No sir, I surely don't.
L Tray: Well, no matter. I can't believe that I'll be getting this for roughly 15 cents a minute! I cannot WAIT to get home and go to town on myself! What about you? Are you familiar with the work of these "New Pornographers?"
Manager: Yes, I am. I think you'll be very surprised.
L Tray: Oh, I don't know about that. I've been around the block, my friend. This is gonna do it for me. Wrap it up, my good sir!
I feel so stupid. Turns out The New Pornographers aren't actually a group of people that have an innovative take on audio pornography, but they're a group of people that play rock music together. And the cd? Yeah, it's good, I guess. "Mass Romantic" is one catchy song, that's for sure. But that isn't what I thought I was buying.
I know I'm embarrassing myself by writing this, but I'm sure that I'm not the first one to be fooled by the band name and album cover. I mean, what would you think? Look at those people! They are most assuredly bumpin' uglies! And that wild herbivore in the background is obviously thinking about joining in. That's some kinky shit! And then the cd starts playing.
Mass romantic fool wears Foster Grants/
His books on tape ring true/
Like everyone wants to say "I love you" to someone on the radio (radio)
How am I supposed to "relieve" my "stress" with lyrics like that? Huh?
Oh, well. At least I still have the album cover.
1 comment:
L-Tray,
Do you ever watch Cinemax?
It sometimes is a regular late night activity of mine and it vaguely reminds me of your CD cover.
It is like, can't these people be a bit better looking for my veiwing pleasure. I don't really want to see cigarette burns on your rear end..miss thing.
Co-Ed Confidential really needs to hire better looking people.
Cinemax gets only 1 1/2 Stars.
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