Why Radical Islamists Hate Us

Take a look at the top 5 movies this weekend.

1. Meet the Spartans $18.5M
2. Rambo $18.2M
3. 27 Dresses $13.4M
4. Cloverfield $12.7M
5. Untraceable $11.4M

Look at that savvy squad of films up there. Is there a gun to your head, people? Do you really need to see a movie every weekend? Meet the Spartans at #1? Really? By puking up almost 20 million dollars, we ensured that more of those horrendous spoofs will be made in the future. Fantastic. Spartans has a 3% on Rotten Tomatoes. That's almost impossible. 97 out of 100 critics hated this movie. And it made 20 million. Oh, and I also had a little fun on IMDB just now. Here are some quotes that pop up for various films.

The Godfather:
Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter. And may their first child be a masculine child.

Casablanca:
Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.

Meet the Spartans:
What you laughin' at, cracka?

#1 movie. Awesome. If you're looking for a date idea next time, go out to dinner. See a concert. Rent a movie. Throw a football around. Sled. Play World of Warcraft. Watch a YouTube tutorial on how to properly krump. Do anything else. Or, if you really wanted to see Meet the Spartans this weekend, make dual appointments for a vasectomy and some tied tubes.